AVIATION DEFINITIONS
AILERON | A hinged control surface on the wing that scares the heck out of airline passengers when it moves. |
AIRPLANE | The infernal machine invented by two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio and perfected on the sands of the Outer Banks of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Precursor to the frisbee. |
AIRSPEED |
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ALTERNATE AIRPORT | The airport that no aircraft has sufficient fuel to proceed to if necessary. |
CARBURETOR ICE | Phrase used when reporting a forced landing caused by running out of fuel. |
CHART |
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COCKPIT |
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ENGINE FAILURE | A condition that occurs when all of the fuel tanks become filled with air. |
FLASHLIGHT | Tubular metal or plastic container kept in a pilots flight bag, used for storing dead batteries. |
FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR | An individual of dubious reputation paid vast sums of money to impact knowledge of questionable value and cast serious doubt on the co-ordination, intelligence, and ancestry of student pilots. |
GLIDER | Formerly 'airplane', prior to running out of fuel. |
HANGAR | Home for anything that flies, mostly birds. |
IFR | I Follow Railroads. |
NAVIGATION | The process by which a pilot finds from point A to point B while actually trying to get to point C. |
PILOT | A poor mis-guided soul who talks about women when he is flying and about flying when he is with women. |
RADAR | An extremely realistic type of video game, often found at airports. Players try to send small game pieces, called 'blips', from one side of the screen to the other without colliding with each other. The player with the fewest collisions wins. |
S-TURN | Course flown by student pilots to go from point A to point B. |